Such a simple question and I am sure your first response is – of course I do. Now ask yourself if your partner knows you appreciate them.
As a person who played the dating game for a few years, I realized that one of the common complaints made by divorcees was that their partner never appreciated all the things they did for them.
As I reflected on my own life, I came to the conclusion that I had never made my partner feel my appreciation for all they had done to make my days brighter. Instead I focused on what they didn’t do rather what they did do.
Perhaps you partner had cleaned the kitchen up before you got home from work, but they failed to sweep the floor. Instead of thanking them for what they had done, the focus became the fact that the floor was still dirty. If you were like me, you pointed out the floor needed sweeping and grabbed a broom.
Another instance is when your spouse cooked dinner for the family, but you were not in the mood for the meal offered up. Instead of eating it and showing appreciation, you announce you would have preferred something else.
For me, with the above examples I know I was thinking it was not just my job to keep the house clean, or cook the meals. I had a career too. In my partner’s head they were now feeling like they couldn’t do anything to please me.
There are a ton of things my partner does to show me they care;
- Makes coffee every morning and has my mug ready
- Ensures there are always fresh flowers in the house
- Always puts the toilet seat down
- A bottle of red wine is always on hand for me
- Takes the garbage out
- Always offers to take me for dinner if we haven’t eaten out in a while
- Plans date nights out or in
- Offers to run a bubble baths when I need some quiet time
- Helps with all household chores
Do I show my appreciation for all this? The answer is no.
I pondered the question of why I don’t tell him how much I appreciate all that he does, and I have concluded that because he does all of these to make me happy, they go unnoticed and I have started to expect them. The phrase stop and smell the roses comes to mind, you really should take the time to reflect on your actions before your partner goes looking for the one that will make them feel appreciated.